Much has happened Good Lord.  Praise to you Jesus, but I am feeling a lot better.  Since the catheter came out about a month ago I have been able to get around walking and I seem to be recovering much of my energy and strength.  I still have soreness but I am feeling almost the "New Normal. " what is troubling me though is the deposition.  I have been trying to reach the priest about having a longer confession.  This will be complicated because I don't know whether my words were justified with in the context of a legal setting or whether I was lying.  I have been waiting for over a week for confirmation of the meeting for confession.  Father got back to me right away when I emailed him for time and said that he would hear me but even after a second e-mail I am waiting to hear from him.  Jesus, please do not punish me or my family at this point.  I don't know whether I have to drop the lawsuit or whether this is OK and I do need to have your approvals from your minister the priest.

I have been able to move closer to you in other ways through my church and my devotions at home and through my walk around and praying the rosaries as I am able to start most mornings with this nicer weather by doing a 4 mile walk around my neighborhood praying the rosary as they go.  I'm still very distracted and prior but I am getting better.  I've been spending more time in church before or after mass but it is always very noisy – at least no easy for me who seems to need to have absolute quiet to be able to focus.  Actually, focusing is always difficult for me.  But I do at least tried to spend time with you Jesus.  I have been reading more of Fulton sheen's "life of Christ" and it keeps me more and more aware of who you are in the context of history and genealogy.  I've also finished most of the St. Therese of Lisieux and having more than just what a biography has been a huge boon.  There are papal documents that followed shortly after her canonization and just recently it was the 90th year since her canonization.  At the end there is a collection of her small statements to the novices and they are most enlightening.  To read Terese who is a truly unique individual and her simple and different way of seeing the challenges of life gives much hope.

I still am fearful about my health.  Generally I feel pretty well.  But I'd read what will happen and how I will fall apart at some point.  My job called me.  I have three more months before have to go back to work and one of my colleagues is leaving so I will have to pick up some new courses.  I will be letting them know soon about my own health issues.  I am putting whether I return to work into your hands.  I have fears about losing my salary.  I will never be able to get another job at my age after I and better – are at least more able to work.  So I don't want to lose the job.  But I have been enjoying not having to be under such pressure of getting to meetings and to work all the time.  Since I do work online I have the greater flexibility.  But I will be under more pressure.  I put that in your hands Jesus.  I want to be fair to my job and to the students that the school has lined up.

Please help me with all of these uncertainties.  I know you will.  I'm looking forward to taking my morning walks with rosary beads - looking forward to a walk with you and your mother.