It became more real yesterday, Jesus; and I am scared.  The visit to Sloan was not as optimistic (reading between the lines of the very terse doctor) and I will be re-evaluated in 2 months with possible surgery lying ahead.  The optimism of the "clinical trials" is starting to fade.

My problem is that I have been slipping back into "the world" more and more.  We just had the funeral for Darren's dad and there were so many worldly aspects that I have been away from my times of peace and growth.  But I am seeing that I am not as focused on you Lord; I have been focused on the world.   I am not sure if going to work in the fall will be an option at all.   Help me draw closer to you Lord, and while staying in the world, being focused on the things that are eternal and on the things you want me to do with my time.  Let me get back into the light of the path to you.  Walk before me Lord or let me walk by your side.  Either way.  Help me to see you.