More disturbing dreams - are they from you Jesus or my "psyche."  I was glad to hear from my old lab friend, but it was sad to learn about the cancer of your twenty-something son.   I see how you have spared me from so much. 

How do I help my family?   Seeing them close up is highlighting some of the problem areas, as the dust is settling on my illness?  I know that much of the problem with the older kids comes from all my sins of omission - I was not there for them as I should have been in their youth.   How can I fix this now, Dear Lord?   Sometimes the thought of being dead gives me the consolation of being able to pray for them in a purer way, free from the defensiveness that I have today.   I fear I am becoming so enmeshed in life now that I am losing the time for prayer.  Please help me to understand where I need to be with my life, Dear Lord.