I am still enjoying the limelight of celebrity hood for being somebody who "might be dying. "  from what I hear (I'm reluctant to read more) my prognosis looks pretty dismal.  However many holy people are praying for me and Dan has given me the option of asking for a miracle through Luisa Piccarreta– so there's hope.  However there is a part of me that really wants to fade away at this point.  To leave all be remembered as a somewhat-young lady – if you can call 67 young.  But seeing what happens with advanced old age, the aspect of dying in my sixties seems a bit more romantic.

Today is Holy Saturday and I will get to the church early to say my rosary and do my 15 minute meditation.  I looked it up so I think I know what I'm supposed to do.  I'm still struggling with my many to-do lists and getting my courses ready and not knowing whether I will be around and in good shape to teach in September or whether I won't be.  I'm loving hearing from my family and friends, but it is making it hard for me to finish up the work that I need to do.  The reading from the Breviary today started with a discussion of wisdom and that's what I need – it seems to be divinely inspired.  I'm looking for Jesus, I am looking in the trivia and sign ons and websites and courses of my life.  I was looking for it last night when we are at Tommy and Roseanne's house.  I can see good people that god loves greatly; but I could see were still there are real people talking that this world and not about the world of god.  I knew that's what god wanted.  I know that god has put all these people in my life and that this is where I am to focus at this point; and the people that surround me.  I hope to have some wisdom to communicate with them.  I talked to Evelyn Tannenbaum for quite a long time and I keep on bringing her back to Jesus and his Jewish origins in some hope of making a break through.  She likes to listen to me.  But she doesn't seem to have this on her radar yet.  I'm hoping to use my approach to death as a way to communicate and evangelize, I don't know how successful I am.  I will have to trust in Jesus as I'm always reminded.

Looking forward to seeing Mary and her son today for the Holy Saturday devotions.